so i think i've reached a point of no return in my life. i'm sitting here in my dark room watching Dawson's Creek, yes the coming of age story of four teens in high school battling issues with family, school, & all their sexual tension, & it's making me realize how i think i might be doing high school wrong. but then again maybe i am going clinically insane due to the fact that i am basing my high school life off of Dawson's Creek. see i've made some friends & unfortunately other than my boys i don't think once i finish school i'll keep in touch with any of them. i've also attempted good grades which is what you're supposed to do right? i mean i tried, i didn't succeed in the least bit but i tried so A for effort. but see i'm okay with that i've never let that kind of stuff rule my life; never really let it consume me like some people do, you know? & i think that might be where i began to go wrong because from where i see it i am lacking in the following typical high school requirements:
-good grades
-school spirit
-a boyfriend
-a lunch table dedicated specifically to me & my group of friends
-a teacher that believes in me
-& the ability to like the other people at my school
now here's the thing.. i am totally fine with lacking in these things because i have my boys & they are all i really need & i know they'll always be there (even where they are gone & out of country for a whole two years), i have spirit it's just not for my school, i think i have a few people who believe in me, & so really i think i'm pretty set. well other than that whole boyfriend thing. i mean i'm a pretty good n.c.m.o.b but then someone comes along & snatches them up with the idea of a real & public relationship so i guess i lose that one 9 out of 10 times. but i like to tell myself that maybe in the next episode everything will change, not drastically but noticeable enough, just like it does in dear ole' Dawson's Creek.
stay tuned to find out what happens on the nest episode of, 'Jesus Christ, Madeline.'
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