my written words.

i am but a sixteen year old 
whose brain wanders all through the night
of why the sky isn't green & the grass isn't blue
& things that i shouldn't say.

alone, alone, i like being alone
then i think to much 
& i become terrified
& think about all the things that made me feel this way.

i am but a sixteen year old
who doesn't yet believe she belongs
in this world of darkness & demons
a sixteen year old 
who wants to believe in fairies & true love's kiss.

but my thoughts are haunting,
scary as shit,
& flood my mind like a hurricane that never blows away
i can't think straight & just want to sleep when thoughts like these start creeping in:
-why does sadness always have to follow happiness
-how you killed the goodness that was left in me
-why everyone dies & everyone eventually forgets you
-how every time the wind blows my memories of you go with it one by one

but then i try to focus on the fact
that Earth is nothing but an spot
there are many more places & scenes
hidden in the galaxies,
behind the stars,
& around the side of the milky way
& that maybe someday i can voyage there
to see all the undiscovered.

--madeline