so i have this challenge thing going on right now with this kid i know. it started one night when we were texting. we were talking about how we haven't really accomplished anything on our bucket lists. they remain mostly untouched. which to me is a little odd, i mean we are 17 years old high schoolers, this is the prime time to be doing fun & adventurous things right? right. so i dared him to go out that weekend & do at least one thing off his bucket list. well he dared me to the do the same thing. so then we decided to make it a challenge, we never decided on what would happen if you didn't check something off your list but we challenged each other to do one thing off our list every weekend "or else". & to be totally honest, i love it. even though there is no "or else" i still do it because why not. i mean you have someone telling you to go out & check things off your bucket list every weekend & it's way rad.
granted some of the things on my bucket list are a little dumb (ex. go on a road trip to a randomly selected location with one person & not tell anyone where we're going, get a tattoo, change my identity for a day, vandalism a stop sign, buy a hedgehog, etc) but some of them are also really making me branch out a little. for example, be more ballsy & worry less when it comes to boys. i really hope some of you laugh at that because yeah that's ridiculous & a little pathetic. but i feel like if i write it down then i have to fulfill it.. you know? to be honest i am using the boy that i started this challenge with as a motivator because 1. when i do something off my list i get an excuse to text the really cute boy 2. it makes me look cooler because i am doing all these cool things & 3. i know he probably won't care in the slightest but i thinks it's nice to have someone who you don't want to let down you know.. like i said earlier, a motivator. he motivates me to do exciting things even though he doesn't know it & for that little bit of unknown support i really appreciate him.
now the title of this blog post won't make much sense to you unless i talk about how the pretzel bit comes into play. so let me backtrack a little to when i said one of the things on my bucket was 'to be more ballsy & worry less when it comes to boys.' see i like to think that i am good at flirting in some situations but when it comes to really being with someone or texting with a boy more than a few times i begin to overthink everything because that is just my personality. my brain will never just shut the fuck up & let my instincts take over. so i wrote that task on my bucket list to hopefully force me to do it you know? so over this weekend i checked that off my bucket list with the help of said "bucket list boy". it's kind of a long story or at least it will be if i try to tell the whole thing. so i'll just sum it up by firstly reminding you that this boy is abnormally cute & has a really rad personality so it goes without saying that i am thoroughly intimidated by him. but this weekend i conquered my fears & took a pretzel to his house.. for him. i told myself i should do it & i didn't even give my brain the chance to talk me out of it. i just let my body take over. i made a spontaneous trip over to his house with a warm homemade pretzel, i went to the door & gave it directly to him. i don't know.. i thought it was kind of cute. now did this spark a relationship between us & change my life or anything? no & i'm sure nothing will happen between us but that's not the point. the point is i checked that off my bucket list & it felt really good.
now do i still wish i would have given him the pretzel, grabbed his face, kissed him then walked away?
hell yes.
but hey baby steps.
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